How to Stop Rushing

Good morning ladies and gentlemen 🙂

Today, we live in a culture that glorifies being busy and zipping around. It’s fashionable to have a full schedule and to always be in a hurry to one place or another. However, this negatively affects our productivity. When our schedule is overloaded, we tend to overload our brains and thus reduce the quality of everything we are doing in our day. In addition, always being a hurry sends a signal to others that you are not in control of your life, the day runs you, so to speak. You come off as high-strung, disorganized and even in some circumstances, unconfident.

Poised, graceful people manage themselves, their lives and their time. They are in control, they prioritize and do not rush, at least not often.  Here are some tips on how to stop rushing.


  1. Change your mindset


Train yourself to let go of the idea that busier is better. Always choose quality over quantity. If you are pressed for time it’s better to pick one sport and focus on being really good at it, rather than pursuing three, and not having enough time to focus on developing in any of them, for example. Remember that when you slow down, you feel better and work better on the task in front of you. Savor and appreciate every moment, be fully focused on whatever is front of you.

  1. Destress


Anxiety and stress often manifest in the way our body moves, even if we are not in a hurry! If you have a lot of stress in your body, you will naturally walk and talk a lot faster without even realizing it. You can solve this by taking measures to relax and rejuvenate in whatever way feels best to you. Meditate, do yoga, get a massage, or even just take some time to do what you love or what makes you happy. Take a five minute walk out of your office and get some fresh air. Allocate some time for yourself every day to just wind down and decompress. This is vital for your productivity and even your health.



  1. Prioritize


Are you overloading yourself? Most of us are. Thanks to the media today, we feel like we have to be everything, successful career person/entrepreneur, fitness junkie, Master Chef, Superparent and a social butterfly to boot. This is simply is not possible, we cannot do everything and be perfect at everything. List all the areas and activities in your life and prioritize which ones are really important to you. Eliminate or rearrange any part of your schedule that is not. Be ruthlessly selective in what you pursue. You will free up your time, increase your focus on what is actually important to you and as a result become better at it.


In addition, stop saying yes to everything. You might want to take on every project offered to you or help everyone who asks you, and to a certain degree it is good to stretch yourself a little, but if you already have a hectic schedule and simply cannot fit something in, don’t.


  1. Wake up earlier


Oversleeping often causes us to be late, therefore making us rush and increasing our stress and pressure. Calculate what time you would need to wake up to be on time for school or work and be honest with yourself. Then set an alarm and stick to it. It will be hell for the first few days but eventually your body WILL get used to it, and you will find yourself waking up at that time even without an alarm clock or feeling too tired. Even waking up 10-15 minutes earlier can make a big difference.


In line with this, try and get to bed early. In as much you need to unwind after a hard day’s work, if you are staying up to watch movies or browse through social media you are robbing yourself of your most precious resource: your health. Go to bed as early as you can and improve the quality of your sleep.


  1. Eliminate distractions


While you are working, be as ruthless as possible with removing distractions. This could be hanging out with your friends, using social media, chatting with colleagues and so on. That is not to say that these things should be eliminated, they are part and parcel of a balanced life, but when it’s time for work it’s time for work. Put away your phone and close your door if need be. This will enable you to finish your responsibilities faster and free up more time, as well as improving the quality of your work.


  1. Study your schedule


Study yourself for  a week and pinpoint certain things. When do you usually hurry? What causes you to hurry or be late? What can you do about that? For instance, are you usually hurrying in the morning when going to school/work? Is it because you wake up too late? Is it because you spend too much time in the shower or having breakfast?


Block out your time and see if there are any time wasters or activities that would be best performed at other times during the week. Time shift. For instance, perhaps you could have breakfast or work on some assignments during your commute.


As much as possible, prepare for your day the night before. Lay out and iron your clothes, make your packed breakfast/lunch, print/bind your assignment, whatever you can do the night before, do it.


  1. Avoid Errands


If you are pressed for time, see how you can change up your approach towards errands. Can you delegate these errands to another member of your household? Can you order something online rather than physically going to the store? Take advantage of delegation and technology wherever possible to free up your time.


I hope this article gave you some insights J Are you always in a hurry? How do you usually manage your time? Leave a comment below!

Lessons from 2017

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen 🙂

We’re in the last few days of 2017 and it’s the perfect time to sit down and take a few quiet moments to ourselves to think back upon the year and what we learned, what we succeeded at and what we could do better so our next year is much better.
I’d like to share with you what I learnt this year.

The first and most important thing I learned is that EVERYTHING that goes on outside us is a reflection of what is WITHIN us. Everything. As within, so without. Any patterns, thoughts, deep intricate thoughts you have about yourself, will manifest in your physical reality. Your life is a product of your beliefs, in each and every way. If you don’t truly love and value yourself, the people in your life will not truly love and value you. If you don’t really respect yourself, other people won’t either. If you always put yourself last, put other people and their needs and wishes and whims first, no one else is going to do the same for you.  If you have bitterness, anger and hate within you, you will constantly find yourself in toxic situations. If you’re always surrounded by drama, it’s cause you like it and accept it on some level. Take a good look at your friends, they are a mirror of you. So if we want to change our lives, we have to start with ourselves. We have to heal from our past wounds, let go of any unresolved issues and anger, learn to accept, respect and love ourselves, take steps to make our lives and relationships healthier, and that’s when things will change.

Secondly, our feelings of insecurity and low self esteem can run extremely deep. It’s not just about thinking someone is prettier than you, or thinking that your partner is being unfaithful or prefers other people. It even shows up in our financial affairs. We don’t treat ourselves to things we can afford sometimes, because we feel we don’t deserve them. Deep deep down, if we are honest with ourselves, we feel unworthy of a nice meal, or a nice book, or a spa trip, or any other little way we can indulge ourselves that involves spending a bit of money. We don’t feel like we deserve a millionaire lifestyle. That mindset holds us back from living our best life.

Thirdly, the shiniest-looking thing is not always the best thing. I’m sure you have met people who seem absolutely perfect. Calm, stable, reliable, sweet, trustworthy, loyal, innocent…goody-two shoes type people. And then there’s the opposite, there’s someone who doesn’t ‘look’ good at all, they seem a bit wild and all over the place, not someone to put your trust in. What I learnt is that so called perfect people are sometimes all wrong. They may have horrendous, extreme emotional or psychological issues. Or, they just turn out to be not so reliable after all, and display severe weakness of character. Meanwhile someone who may not appear to be perfect at all is still there for you when all the shiny ornaments are gone. Look for this. Stay with this.

I learnt a lot about trust this year. And the real meaning of what a relationship is. See, what do we really want to be in a relationship for? Do we just want someone to make us feel good about ourselves? Someone to praise us, compliment us and buy us nice things? Someone on our arm so that everyone can say what a cute couple you are? What if all the fluff is taken away? What if the you see the person when they’re sick, stressed, angry, moody etc? When they don’t feel like showering you with praise? Do you still love them? What if your relationship isn’t ‘friend-approved?’ In fact, your friends are extremely discouraging of your relationship and constantly dissuade you.
Sometimes a person can really challenge you. Instead of being worshipped they might hold a mirror up to your face and show you what your flaws are. It’s extremely painful. We run from this and try to go back to shallow surface-level relationships where we can feel like we are perfect. Stick it out. Learn. Grow. Swallow your ego and learn the lessons you are being taught, it will make you a better person.

Finally, I have learnt to build bridges, not walls. There is far too much hate and division in this world today, you just need to tune in to the news or log on to social media to see what I mean. Our excuses for shutting people out based on race, religion, heaven forbid even political views, are gone. It is destroying our world today. Instead of looking for reasons to distrust or hate, find a way to dialogue. Yes, even with someone with totally ridiculous, ignorant or opposing-yours views. It IS possible. I have done it myself several times this year. Find common ground, especially when it’s the most difficult to do. The person you denigrate for being a Trump supporter or religious extremist is human just like you, no matter how horrible they seem to be. He or she has wants, needs, fears, hopes just like you do, and if you just talk to them without keeping your defenses up, you will actually find at least one thing you two have in common.

I think those are the most important lessons I took away from 2017 🙂 What did you learn this year? What would you like to change going into 2018? Leave a comment below!

Keys to a Happy Relationship – Appreciation

Good evening ladies and gentlemen 🙂

Have you ever wondered why the spark in relationships seem to fizzle out? Why someone seems to get more annoying the longer you’re with them? We have all had the experience of someone who seemed to be everything we dreamed of in the beginning, and then suddenly that funny, vibrant woman you fell in love with seems to have become a nag, or that adoring caring man has become increasingly distant and aloof.

There is a way to turn this around, and it’s very simple.

Appreciate your partner.

What happens in the beginning of a relationship is that everything is new and exciting. Everyone’s careful to be on their best behavior, so you only see their good side. Oxytocin is running high, both of you can’t get enough of each other and everything is rosy. As time passes, we fatigue of always being perfect, or we spend enough time with our partner under different circumstances to see their not so good sides. What happens then is, we begin to criticize one another.

Almost every time we interact with our partner, we are whining and complaining about something or another. We’re not satisfied with them and we are not afraid to speak up about it. Women are more likely to do this in a relationship, being the more verbal communicators. They didn’t call back, or they didn’t do the dishes, or they’re not pursuing their goals hard enough, they don’t make us feel good! What happens then is very simple. No one likes being around someone who always makes them feel bad. Would you want to spend time with someone who made you feel bad about yourself? Someone who made you feel like you’re not good enough, not trying hard enough, can’t ever make them happy? Our partner starts to withdraw. They spend less time with us. Which of course, results in a vicious cycle of us nagging them for time and affection, they withdraw further and we get more miserable.

Even when they do spend time with you, something is off. They just seem demotivated, like they’ve given up on being that amazing partner you used to know. This may be because they feel like you’ll still find a way to complain no matter what they do…again, giving you more things to complain or criticize them about.

Turn this around by focusing on the positive. Take a piece of paper right now or open a note on your computer. List down all their good features, physical or otherwise. It doesn’t matter how small or big, if it’s a good feature to you, that’s all that’s important. If you can’t think of any good qualities, think of good qualities they may have demonstrated in the past. Think of all the good things they have done or said, for you or for others. Remember why exactly it is that you fell in love with them. In most cases, you will find that their good qualities outweigh the bad ones. Next time you’re angry at them or thinking about a bad memory, try to switch to a good memory or think of their good qualities.

And forgive them. They are only human, just like you. And no human being will ever be perfect. They will make mistakes, forget birthdays, say mean things, spill coffee or juice, be insensitive, and so on. As long as they are not being abusive or causing serious harm to themselves or others, just choose to forgive them and count their flaws as normal human flaws. It’s easier to do this if you’re humble. After all, you’re not perfect either. When you realize you make mistakes too, it’s easier to forgive your partner.

Next, appreciate them loudly. Drop all the complaining and nagging. It doesn’t work and only pushes them away. Build them up. Compliment them. Notice the good things they do and tell them about it. Even if it’s something small. Even if you just like their shoes. Don’t assume they know you have a high opinion of them, this is a mistake most people in long term relationships make. Keep reminding them that you think they’re amazing. As you continue doing this, they’ll feel better and better being around you and your relationship will improve dramatically.

Something amazing seems to happen when you focus on the good in other people. It grows exponentially. By appreciating someone for good qualities they exhibit and even those that may be latent, you actually speak a bigger and better person into existence. Their confidence and happiness grows, they begin to bloom.

“See the light in others, and treat them as if that is all you see.” ― Wayne Dyer

Giving off Feminine Energy in Social Media Interactions

Good morning ladies and gentlemen 🙂 Yesterday, I uploaded a post on how to improve your image and make a good impression on anyone who looks at your social media accounts, which can improve your social and professional opportunities immensely.
Today, I thought it would be interesting to discuss how to give off feminine energy. If you’re new to the concepts of feminine energy and leaning back, check out my earlier posts on the same 🙂 We know that feminine energy is soft, relaxed, receptive, more of ‘being’ than ‘doing’, and that if you are looking to attract a relationship with a masculine alpha male, it’s almost indispensable. Since we interact more on social media nowadays than face to face, how does one bring that energy to their Facebook, Whatsapp or Instagram?

1. Reduce initiating contact. Avoid as much as possible being the first one to text, call, add him on social media, etc. Let the guy you’re interested in initiate at least 80% of the time. Let him be the one to look for you. When you add him, or initiate contact constantly you are taking the chase away from him, you’re taking away his opportunity to be the hunter, the pursuer and feel like the man. This is likely to make him less passionate and less likely to put in effort (if he is a masculine-energy person). Stop finding sneaky excuses to text him or share stuff with him first, let him text or call most of the time. Check out some of my articles to help with this. This is leaning back in action.

As for leaning back energetically, do not stalk! Please! We have all been there, doing calculations in our head based on when he was last seen and when his last social media activity was versus when he texted us, or squinting into his social media stories to see where he is…stop! Overanalyzing and stressing this way teaches your mind that your guy is some sort of god, and it just disturbs your peace and gives off repellant masculine energy. Train yourself to break this terrible habit.

And again, don’t sit around waiting for him to contact you, feeling anxious and upset if he doesn’t. This type of pining shows up in your energy and makes you less attractive. And more importantly, you yourself feel bad. Drown yourself in other things you are passionate about, hang out with friends who make you feel involved and happy, and just focus on other things. Don’t fear space when a guy isn’t contacting you.

2. Don’t be constantly available. Closely related to the above point, when he knows you can text all day everyday and reply to his texts within seconds, you come across as overly available and it kills the mystery. So yes, have your lovey-dovey all nighter conversations once in a while but don’t be known as the girl who is always up to talk. Try not to be hooked to your cell phone or social media, live in the moment and pursue other hobbies and interests without checking your phone. Again closely related to this, don’t overshare. Posting every single day is the equivalent of being a chatterbox in real life. There’s nothing to unwrap and discover about you if you share yourself completely on social media.

3. Keep it lighthearted and positive! Feminine energy is playful, creative and light-hearted. Try to keep complaining and negative material to a minimum. Talk about the good things in your life, your passions, share the beauty in life, be a happy person. This will attract people to you because you’ll be the ray of sunshine in their life. Of course sometimes it will be necessary to talk about unpleasant things such as sexual harassment and so on, but you can keep the complaining and whining about your daily troubles to a minimum.

When your alpha male texts or calls, sound happy to hear from him. Switch from a sour ‘he hasn’t called in three days’ attitude. Instead of focusing on what he doesn’t do, focus on what he does do and be sweet, welcoming and grateful. He’ll start building positive associations with you in his mind and want to contact you more often.

So those are some of my tips to come across as feminine-energy on social media  What do you think of this article? Do you have anything you would like to add? Leave a comment below!


What Does Your Social Media Say About You?

Good evening ladies and gentlemen 🙂

Today, we’re going to be talking about cultivating the right image on social media. Social media can be defined as:

websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking.

That includes Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and so on. It’s no secret that social media is taking over our lives. It can make you or break you. We see this in the case of celebrities all the time; they are always one tweet away from a storm of bad publicity. On the bright side, social media can be used to draw awareness to certain things and result in positive outcomes – crowd funding people who need help paying their tuition, for one thing.

If you’re active on social media (and most of us are), then you need to be very aware of what you are posting and how you are coming across to people who view your social media activity. Nothing posted on the Internet stays secret, even if you’ve adjusted your privacy settings, screenshots of your less flattering pictures or posts will do their rounds. Employers look at your social media accounts to see what kind of person you are. Let’s take a look at some of the do’s and don’ts, a few tips on how to create a good image of yourself using social media, or at least not a terrible one.

DO keep the politics to a minimum. A trainer once taught us that if employers look at your social media feeds and see a lot of political rants, they are unlikely to hire you as they feel you will polarize the working environment. Remember, few employers would actually hire someone likely to cause arguments and tension, even if they are highly qualified.

DO keep your night outs to yourself. Try not to post so much about drinking, smoking and whatnot. Definitely off Facebook! Employers really don’t want to see pictures of beer bottles all over your profile. Have your crazy nights with trusted friends but keep it as private as possible, you’re probably not a teenager anymore.

DON’T vent on social media. Especially about personal things such as your family, friends or significant other. Just don’t do it. Period. You might feel relief from getting it off your chest or reassuring support from kind commentators, but please do not. You’re only coming off as immature, emotionally unstable and untrustworthy. People are less likely to want to be involved with you when you cannot keep your business to yourself. They know that once they upset you, all your Facebook friends will know about it. Closely related to this, please refrain from posting passive-aggressive quotes and statuses. We all do it now and again, but try as much as possible not to. Again, you are only telling your followers on social media that you are immature and undignified. Deal with your personal problems by yourself and with the help of the people involved, or professionals.

HOWEVER, social media as we know is also a powerful tool to raise awareness and create change. If you encounter prejudice, bias, harassment or another societal ill, posting about it can be a tool to create a conversation and inspire a change in society. I’m only referring to petty squabbles between you and your loved ones that the world really doesn’t need to know about.

DO share content that adds value. Lots of people on social media consume and regurgitate things that really add no value to anyone’s life; memes, tacky jokes and so forth. Why not share informative and educative content matter – such as business or activism-related articles/videos? What would an employer like to see on your Facebook account: “7 Time-Tested Rules for Marketing and Growing Your Business” or “MAN’S NOT HOT”? Similarly, don’t post when you have nothing to say. Who really wants to see your selfies or videos of you lipsyncing…ALL THE TIME? Try not to post merely for the sake of posting. Keep it quality over quantity.

DO use proper grammar and spelling. Using proper grammar and spelling, even on social media, makes you come across as educated and refined. The opposite makes you look uneducated and immature.

DO keep it covered. Ladies, you don’t have to look like a nun but wearing short and revealing clothing, or suggestive poses tells people that the only value you have to offer lies in your physical attributes, and people will treat you accordingly. Unless you are looking to be a gold-digger or Instagram (or other) model, keep it classy.

DON’T over post. We all know this. Someone who is constantly available, replies to your texts within a few seconds all the time, posts one thousand pictures of them doing nothing, and whose name is all over your Facebook feed…it’s not very attractive. It tells the world that you are bored and have nothing better to do with your life. Of course, sharing content about material you are passionate about, or interesting things that happen to you is good, but unhook yourself from social media now and again. Take a healthy break from social media and actually LIVE your life.

I hope you found this article informative 🙂 How often do you use social media? What are your tips for someone to avoid giving the wrong impression? Leave a comment below 🙂


Mastering the Mind

Good evening ladies and gentlemen 🙂 It’s no secret that if you want to improve your life, you have got to start by improving your emotional and mental well-being, and one of the most important aspects of that, if not the most important, is learning to control your mind.

The mind can honestly be our worst enemy sometimes. You hear that critical voice feeding you all sorts of negative, dis-empowering thoughts all day. You think about how small your house is, or how much prettier that girl is than you, or how her body is better, or you fret about paying bills, and then thrown in the mix, suddenly your mind decides to dwell on a painful memory of years ago, or even worse, imagine hypothetical negative situations! It’s exhausting, and it makes you feel miserable if you just let such thoughts run amok.

In addition, negative thoughts create a disastrous self-fulfilling prophecy. Say, for example, your inner critic is telling you you look ugly. What does this do? It makes you feel sad. You walk around without a smile, with your shoulders hunched over. This body language repels the people around you, because it screams ‘sad and unapproachable.’ Therefore, you end up feeling alone and undesirable. You can’t live your life without comparing yourself to supposedly more attractive people and feeling envious of them. Taken to extremes, this can even make a person take drastic measures to make themselves ‘beautiful’, such as plastic surgery and developing eating disorders. Now, flip that scenario on its head. If you believe you’re beautiful, you will feel good about yourself. That’s the most important thing, how you feel. It will show up in your walk, you will walk straight and tall, you will smile. The people around are you are drawn to your positive energy. You’ll enjoy taking care of yourself, leading you to feel even more beautiful and more confident, but you won’t be so desperate, caking your face with makeup and so on.

So how can you gain control over your mind? It seems impossible. You feel like those thoughts in your head are really true, and anyone else is just trying to lie to you to sell their products or to make you like them, or just to make you avoid feeling bad.

  1. Observe, don’t fight


Generally, there are two types of reactions to a negative thought. One is to run away with it, drown in it, obsess with it, identify with it, and thus feed it and feel more miserable. Another is to try and fight it, beat yourself up for thinking that, force yourself to think positive…this fight again feeds negative thoughts, that’s why simply trying to think positive doesn’t work, and oftentimes ends up just making you feel worse.


There is a third way, and this is the most effective. The next time a negative thought pops into your head, don’t do anything at all. Listen to it. Let it pass. Don’t encourage it, don’t fight it. Just be in observation mode. Like how you would be if you were just watching people at the park, and felt neutral towards them, not judging them. Enough practice doing this, and ythe negative thoughts will go away on their own, because they have no energy. Once you feel you have gained more control over your mind, you can try gently replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones.


You see, most of our thoughts are repetitive. 99% of your thoughts today are probably what they have been for the past few months. And thoughts are linked, so one particular thought often leads to another, like a chain reaction. So it will take time to establish new habits of better thinking. Don’t beat yourself up. If you have been thinking negatively your whole life, it’s going to take time to change, so don’t feel discouraged if you still think some negative thoughts even after a few months.


  1. Mindfulness


Another method to gain control over your mind is to just get out of it. Oftentimes we are swimming in our thoughts, and missing what’s going on all around us. Next time you catch yourself thinking, focus on your senses instead. What can you see right in front of you right no? What can you hear? What can you feel? What do you smell? Don’t judge whatever your senses are picking up, because that’s just engaging your brain again. Lose yourself in your senses so to speak, focus on what you can see, hear, smell touch and taste.


For example, the next time you’re on a train, don’t think about your destination or your to do list. Focus on how your seat feels. What are the different colors and people and things you can see in your compartment? What smell do you pick up? What sounds are there, the sounds of people talking, etc.


  1. Yoga and Meditation


To meditate, simply sit or lie with your eyes closed. Put your hand on your navel and take deep breaths. If a thought comes up, observe it and let it pass as explained above. Focus on your breath alone, how your abdomen moves up and down, the sensations you experience etc. Take huge, deep inhales but release the air slowly. Try to do this for at least ten minutes a day.


As for yoga, take up a beginner’s class or simply look for Youtube videos (there are millions!). Again, try to incorporate this as part of your everyday routine, even 15 minutes is enough.


I hope you liked these tips! Leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts!

Handling a Bad Phase

Everyone goes through quite a few low points in their life. Yes, everyone. Even the happiest, strongest and most put together people you know have gone through some crap and cried their eyes out.

The first and most important thing to know when you are going through a hard time, be it a breakup, a divorce, the fallout of getting bad grades, the loss of a loved one, or anything is that it is okay to feel whatever you are feeling. Do not beat yourself up for not being at your most productive, or most social. Don’t call yourself weak, emotional or stupid. Give yourself permission to cry, to scream, to vent, to mope around in bed, to listen to depressing music, to avoid people for a while, it’s completely okay and even healthy, so long as this does not continue for an extended period of time. Look at nature. Bears hibernate. Trees shed their leaves. Few living organisms are at their peak all year round, why should you be?

Take this as a time to nurture yourself without any apology. You are going through a rough time. You deserve to buy that book you’ve had your eye on. Treat yourself to a massage. Eat chocolate. Take a bubble bath. Whatever you feel you want to do to make yourself feel loved and cared for.

Do not hold your feelings in. They will only leak out at some point in the future and damage your well-being. Write about them in a journal. Beat up a punching bag. Vent to a close friend. Cry.

Keep things in perspective. One failed relationship does not mean you are unworthy of love. One bad grade does not mean you are unintelligent. One business loss doesn’t mean you’ll never be wealthy. Do not take bad things in life personally. Adopt an attitude of hey, it’s a rough time now, but I can learn from this and it doesn’t mean I have a bad life.

Learn to control your thoughts.

I cannot stress this enough. If you don’t gain control over your mind, your mind or your ego will run amok and you will never ever be happy or peaceful. It is crucial to note that the ‘I’ in your head is NOT REALLY YOU. I repeat, all those negative, anxious, fretful thoughts you have, that critical voice that’s your own harshest critic, THAT’S NOT YOU. The real you is the silent listener to your thoughts. The critical voice in your head is just a result of conditioning in your earlier years, that’s why generally it sounds like someone who was very critical of you, perhaps a parent or an older sibling. You have to learn to dis-empower your negative thoughts. The way to do this is very simple. Don’t fight them, don’t force yourself to think positive (often times this just gives the negative thoughts more bite). Just observe them. That’s all it takes. Next time you get a negative thought, don’t fight it and don’t start drowning in it. Think “Hmm, that’s interesting”, and just watch them. Just a few days of this and you’ll realize you have so much better control over your mind.

Are you going through a break up? Check out my post on specific advice on how to handle break-up situations healthily and gracefully.

What did you think of this article? How do you cope with bad days in your life? Leave a comment below! 🙂



Attachment or Emotional Laziness?

Good afternoon everyone 🙂

Everyone has gotten attached to someone or something some time in their lives. This is when you become reliant on someone or something outside yourself. When you don’t have that thing, or when you feel your needs are not being met by this particular person, you become angry, sad, anxious, stressed and so on.

Attachment is not a good thing, not at all. When you are attached to something, you give it your power. You give it the power to determine whether you’re happy or sad, whether you’re motivated or not. More often that not, it is something outside your control. If it’s a person, you’re left to their whims. If they spend time with you, contact you, or tell you nice things you’re on top of the world, and when they’re not around it affects you negatively.

‘But that’s normal in a relationship or friendship!’ You might be thinking. If you care about someone, you miss them when they’re not around and as long as you’re not being psycho or obsessive about it, there’s nothing wrong. In the context of romantic relationships however, things can go very wrong if the person you’re so attached to leaves or neglects you.

You see, if you really loved a person, it doesn’t matter whether they’re next to you or not. True love, unconditional love is unselfish. It doesn’t matter whether the person is happy with someone else, moving to another country, not texting you, whatever…you feel calm and at peace, knowing they are happy. How many of us actually feel this way? Instead, we don’t think about their happiness at all. We feel sad, rejected, our egos get bruised, and so on. This is the difference between attachment and love, whether it’s in a friendship or relationship context.

And looking deeply into this, attachment is really just emotional laziness (unless of course you are mentally disabled, or a child). You are too lazy to make yourself happy. You are too lazy to make yourself feel secure. You are too lazy to validate yourself. Pure unconditional self-love is work to create and maintain. So, you’d rather rely on someone else because it’s so much faster and easier. All you have to do is see them and bing, instant rush of happiness. All they have to do is compliment and you and bing! Instant validation – you feel special, beautiful, valued..etc.

So when they are seemingly neglecting you or ‘mistreating’ you, you’re not really upset because you care about them. You’re upset because you care about yourself, and you need that rush of happiness and validation they’re not giving you. If you’re in a healthy relationship or friendship there should be no cravings or withdrawal symptoms, no heavy energy, no neediness or dependency – you are as happy to see them and spend time with them as you are happy to let them go and do your own thing.

It’s not fair to expect someone to do your emotional heavy lifting for you. Decide that you’re going to make yourself happy and confident, rather than wait for others to deliver that to you on a silver platter.


  1. Find your passion


Everyone has a passion. Drown yourself in yours. You will feel less reliant on friends or your romantic partner for attention. Whatever you love doing, whether it’s playing with animals, a particular sport, writing, dancing, do it as often as you can. Learn how to do it better. Learn how to monetize it, if you want. You’ll quickly realize you don’t really need anyone to make yourself happy.


  1. Build your self confidence


There are many, many ways to do this. Use positive affirmations. Write down your strengths. Exercise. Dress better. Listen to mood-boosting music. When you accept and love yourself, you will find yourself meeting your own needs rather than just picking up the phone whenever you feel lonely.


  1. Try to wean yourself off of your attachment.


Take a good honest look at your relationships. Is there anyone you feel dependent on emotionally? Try to spend less time with them. This may feel like cutting off an arm, depending on how attached you are, but I promise you after a few days you’ll adjust. Instead of spending hors talking to a particular person, use that time to do things that are beneficial for you, as mentioned above..exercise, study more, develop professional skills, do what you’re passionate about, and so on. Try not to think about them, focus on what’s right in front of you.


  1. Improve your relationship with your parents

Generally, most adults who struggle with becoming too attached to their friends or significant others did not receive enough love and attention from their parents when they were younger. This led them to seek that love and validation from others, thus developing unhealthy attachment patterns. Sometimes it’s a lot easier said than done to develop a good relationship with our parents, but try. For your own sake, try. If it absolutely cannot be done, revert to the steps mentioned earlier.

  1. Make new connections


“What? But this whole article has been about not becoming attached to other people?”


Sometimes we become too attached to a friend or significant other because we feel lonely, we feel like there are not many other people in our lives who we can feel good around, or feel understood by. This is not true. Spread your energy out and don’t focus it on one person. The more friends you make the less you’ll feel dependent on one particular person. You do not have to be a social butterfly. The easiest way is to find people who love the same things you do, because that initial awkwardness is totally eliminated by you two gushing over whatever you have in common. Join clubs that revolve around your interests. Talk to fellow bookworms on the Internet, or other fitness enthusiasts at the gym. Just try having five minutes of light conversation with a colleague. Every little bit counts.


So, that’s my explanation of what unhealthy attachment is and how we can overcome it! What did you think of this article? Do you have any other suggestions for overcoming it? Let me know in the comments below 🙂

Developing a Morning Routine

“My morning routine definitely sets the tone for my day. If I’m rushed and stressed in the morning, that will carry through my work day.” – Tessa Miller.

If you want to be a healthy, happy and successful person, your morning routine has got to consist of more than grumbles of how tired you are and quick sips of coffee while you rush to your destination. The most successful people all pay attention to what they do and consume first thing in the morning, and so should you. Incorporate some of these activities into your daily morning routine and see how much better you feel 🙂

  • Visualization


The best time is to visualize what you want is immediately after you wake up and while you’re falling asleep. At this time, your conscious mind is neutralized, so there are few negative thoughts to interrupt your visualization. Before you feel too awake, simply close your eyes and take some time to visualize what you want. What is your ideal self like? How do you look? How do you feel? What are you wearing? Who are you surrounded by? What kind of house are you living in? What kind of car are you driving? Whatever you want, hold a picture of it in your mind and make it so vivid you can touch and feel it.


  • Attitude of gratitude

When you are feeling a bit more awake, you can think of all the things you are grateful for, and feel, take some time to really feel gratitude, feel how much you already have. Gratitude improves your outlook on life and magnetizes you to attract more of what you are grateful for. So be grateful for your bed, for having electricity, for being in good health, or anything else you enjoy. Realize that no matter what your problems are, a lot of people do not have many of the privileges you take for granted.


  • Motivation or Inspiration

Watch or read something that motivates or inspires you. Personally, I like watching motivational videos (there are thousands of them on Youtube!) Find what truly inspires you to go that second mile and be a better version of you, whether it’s an autobiography, your Holy Book, an interview with your idol, anything.


  • Exercise


Exercise first thing in the morning releases endorphins (feel-good chemicals) as well as increasing your energy levels. Plus, if you’re like the majority of the population exercise is not your favorite part of the routine, so once you get it out of the way you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and relief.

  • Yoga


I love doing yoga in the morning. It relaxes me completely and I feel more serene and poised as I go about my day. It also raises your energy level and clears your mind so that you can really focus and generate good ideas.


These are my five top morning routine activities! What’s your morning routine like? Do you do any of the above? Does it help? Leave a comment below! 🙂




Opening and Balancing the Heart Chakra

Good evening ladies and gentlemen 🙂

Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? Needy? Do you demand a lot of time and affection from your loved ones? Do you feel like you ‘love too much’?

The cause of this may be due to an imbalance in your heart chakra. If you haven’t heard of chakras before, they are spiritual spinning circles of energy located throughout your body. There are 7 of them – the crown chakra, the third eye chakra, the throat chakra, the heart chakra, the solar plexus chakra, the sacral chakra and the root chakra. Imbalances or blockages in any one of these chakras culminate in certain emotional and physical issues connected to those chakras.

Today, our focus is on the heart chakra. Its Sanskrit name is Anahati. It is located in the center of your chest. Its color is green.

Physical signs of heart chakra imbalance

Do you experience any of the following?

  • Hypertension
  • Breathing problems
  • Heart condition
  • Upper back and shoulder problems

Emotional signs of heart chakra imbalance:

  • Being overly demanding
  • Feeling like a victim
  • Low sense of personal boundaries
  • Over-giving/overinvesting in others

If your heart chakra is overly closed, you may experience isolation, withdrawal from others, lacking empathy, being critical, grief, hatred, anger, jealousy, moodiness,

When your heart chakra is open and balanced, you easily feel unconditional love and compassion for those around you. You are very accepting of others and yourself.

So, how can you get your heart chakra open and balanced?

  • Yoga


Certain yoga poses can really benefit the heart chakra such as the cat cow pose and the cobra pose. Find relevant videos or take up a yoga class that focuses on the heart chakra and practice this consistently. I often notice an almost immediate decrease in anxiety/neediness after practicing this video.

  • Surround yourself with green


The color of the heart chakra is green so to help heal it, immerse yourself in this color. Wear green clothing. Take a walk in nature. Go hiking. Enjoy the feel of the trees and the leaves. Eat green foods such as spinach, cucumbers, green apples, parsley and avocados.


  • Feel your feelings


Find a quiet place where you can be alone and undisturbed. Sit or lie down, close your eyes, and just feel. All the anger, hurt, pain, bitterness, jealousy from past experiences or what you are undergoing currently, whatever it is, just open up and let yourself feel the pain. Cry and scream if you want. Once you feel the pain, it is released, whereas repressing it only leads to more pain and dysfunction in your life.


These are just a few ways you can get your heart chakra open and balanced and feel more loving, more accepting and more compassionate towards yourself and others. What did you think of this article? Leave a comment below!