Lessons from 2017

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen 🙂

We’re in the last few days of 2017 and it’s the perfect time to sit down and take a few quiet moments to ourselves to think back upon the year and what we learned, what we succeeded at and what we could do better so our next year is much better.
I’d like to share with you what I learnt this year.

The first and most important thing I learned is that EVERYTHING that goes on outside us is a reflection of what is WITHIN us. Everything. As within, so without. Any patterns, thoughts, deep intricate thoughts you have about yourself, will manifest in your physical reality. Your life is a product of your beliefs, in each and every way. If you don’t truly love and value yourself, the people in your life will not truly love and value you. If you don’t really respect yourself, other people won’t either. If you always put yourself last, put other people and their needs and wishes and whims first, no one else is going to do the same for you.  If you have bitterness, anger and hate within you, you will constantly find yourself in toxic situations. If you’re always surrounded by drama, it’s cause you like it and accept it on some level. Take a good look at your friends, they are a mirror of you. So if we want to change our lives, we have to start with ourselves. We have to heal from our past wounds, let go of any unresolved issues and anger, learn to accept, respect and love ourselves, take steps to make our lives and relationships healthier, and that’s when things will change.

Secondly, our feelings of insecurity and low self esteem can run extremely deep. It’s not just about thinking someone is prettier than you, or thinking that your partner is being unfaithful or prefers other people. It even shows up in our financial affairs. We don’t treat ourselves to things we can afford sometimes, because we feel we don’t deserve them. Deep deep down, if we are honest with ourselves, we feel unworthy of a nice meal, or a nice book, or a spa trip, or any other little way we can indulge ourselves that involves spending a bit of money. We don’t feel like we deserve a millionaire lifestyle. That mindset holds us back from living our best life.

Thirdly, the shiniest-looking thing is not always the best thing. I’m sure you have met people who seem absolutely perfect. Calm, stable, reliable, sweet, trustworthy, loyal, innocent…goody-two shoes type people. And then there’s the opposite, there’s someone who doesn’t ‘look’ good at all, they seem a bit wild and all over the place, not someone to put your trust in. What I learnt is that so called perfect people are sometimes all wrong. They may have horrendous, extreme emotional or psychological issues. Or, they just turn out to be not so reliable after all, and display severe weakness of character. Meanwhile someone who may not appear to be perfect at all is still there for you when all the shiny ornaments are gone. Look for this. Stay with this.

I learnt a lot about trust this year. And the real meaning of what a relationship is. See, what do we really want to be in a relationship for? Do we just want someone to make us feel good about ourselves? Someone to praise us, compliment us and buy us nice things? Someone on our arm so that everyone can say what a cute couple you are? What if all the fluff is taken away? What if the you see the person when they’re sick, stressed, angry, moody etc? When they don’t feel like showering you with praise? Do you still love them? What if your relationship isn’t ‘friend-approved?’ In fact, your friends are extremely discouraging of your relationship and constantly dissuade you.
Sometimes a person can really challenge you. Instead of being worshipped they might hold a mirror up to your face and show you what your flaws are. It’s extremely painful. We run from this and try to go back to shallow surface-level relationships where we can feel like we are perfect. Stick it out. Learn. Grow. Swallow your ego and learn the lessons you are being taught, it will make you a better person.

Finally, I have learnt to build bridges, not walls. There is far too much hate and division in this world today, you just need to tune in to the news or log on to social media to see what I mean. Our excuses for shutting people out based on race, religion, heaven forbid even political views, are gone. It is destroying our world today. Instead of looking for reasons to distrust or hate, find a way to dialogue. Yes, even with someone with totally ridiculous, ignorant or opposing-yours views. It IS possible. I have done it myself several times this year. Find common ground, especially when it’s the most difficult to do. The person you denigrate for being a Trump supporter or religious extremist is human just like you, no matter how horrible they seem to be. He or she has wants, needs, fears, hopes just like you do, and if you just talk to them without keeping your defenses up, you will actually find at least one thing you two have in common.

I think those are the most important lessons I took away from 2017 🙂 What did you learn this year? What would you like to change going into 2018? Leave a comment below!

Happy New Year!

Good evening ladies and gentlemen 🙂 Happy New Year! I hope your New Years’ is filled with all the abundance, romance, magic, fun and success you deserve!

The end of the year is an excellent time to reflect upon ourselves and our lives, and plan for the year ahead. Humans like new beginnings and clean states. There’s something about the beginning of something, be it the year, or the week that always inspires us to say we’ll start doing so-and-so then.

If you can, take twenty minutes or so for yourself and do a little mental stock taking. What did you achieve this year? What were your biggest setbacks? Were there any bad habits that held you back from achieving your true potential? Are there any relationships weighing you down? What did you learn? How did you grow? This is very important; it helps you pinpoint where you are right now, how much you have already accomplished and problems you need to work on.

Then, it’s advisable for you to think about the year ahead. What do you want to achieve? Where do you want to go? What do you need to do? Make sure these are your own dreams and goals, not anyone else’s. The best goals are specific. For instance, don’t just write down ‘lose weight’ as one of your goals or resolutions. Be more specific, like ‘Lose 10 kg by March 1^st.’ When you are specific in your goals, it orients your mind, gives your mind a deadline and something to work with. Write down your action plan, how precisely do you want to lose weight? Will you drink more water? Take up swimming?

Motivation and discipline are the keys to achieving your goals. Keep yourself motivated, every single day. Make sure your motivations are internal, because external motivation eventually wears off. For instance, if you want to lose weight to be more attractive to your crush, one day that crush will fade and then you will be less motivated. If you are motivated to lose weight to become healthier and more confident, then your motivation will rarely slacken.

Make it a habit. Make exercising, or reading, or whatever else you want to do, a habit, as regular as you brushing your teeth or showering. Just keep doing it, keep motivating yourself every day, thinking of the end product, and the benefits of the practice even before you achieve your end product.

And don’t ever let yourself be hard on yourself. People have gone from sheer poverty to unimaginable wealth, the humblest of men have become Presidents, ordinary human beings like you and I have become revolutionaries known the world over, people have walked out on abusive relationships after decades…There is nothing holding you back except you. All the ‘obstacles’ you have, have been overcome by others and you can do it too.

“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.”